February 11, 2009

Friends, facebook, and self-focus

Why do I keep inflicting pain on myself? Whenever I hack into my sister's facebook account, I'm so overwhelmed by sadness. To know so much about people's lives and not be part of it is vastly depressing to my little mind. To realize that people have their own lives and they get along quite well without me makes me want to break off into independence and live the life of a hermit. At the same time, I want to jump aboard the facebook ship and start racking up friends.

But why?

Two reasons, mainly. The first is noble. With access to facebook, I can keep up with my friends. I can stay updated on what's important to them. I can understand them, what makes them tick, how I can bless them better. I can encourage them when they're down. Of course, a few of my friends aren't on facebook, but still. Through the blog world, I've gained access to my friend's thoughts, and I greatly appreciate it and enjoy it. Facebook would be like blogger on steroids.

Yet the second reason makes me ponder. It seems a main motivation to join facebook is ME. I want attention. Status. Approval. Love. I want to satiate the awful desire to scream "I miss you!" to the world. And I don't know if I can condone joining if I'm so self-focused.

I'm certain there are other factors involved, such as easy access to pictures or staying up-to-date on birthdays, but the reasons are centered around connecting with friends and garnering affirmation for myself. I don't need to make decisions based on insecurity. I don't need to place a stumbling block in front of myself as I try to "do nothing from selfishness or conceit." Nor do I need an excuse for misusing my precious time.

So for now,
I remain yours most sincerely,

Art Notonfacebook


Hayley said...

I like Facebook. I've thought about it too much from both side for so long that I can't even begin to anaylze Facebook anymore. But sometimes the cons do outweigh the pros. So as much as I miss you on teh interwebz, your decision makes a lot of sense. (Blogger and Gmail ftw!)

And by the way. The Facebook birthday thing is so overrated. It doesn't help. At all.

Michael said...

Becka, good choice. Facebook, for pictures, is awesome but you can always "hack" (technically it's not hacking if you have the password, but whatever!) Kristen's for that. Personally, I found it very hard to say anything meaningful on facebook, except for perhaps encouraging people (but that's what email is for.) I too have spent too much time analyzing it, and my eventual solution was to do away this the problem. (if I don't have one, I'm SURE not to waste any time on it, get more self-centered by it etc.) And Hayley's right I hated the stupid "birthday" thing.

I also think I know what you mean by feeling "left out" when your siblings are talking to "your" friends :P I think most people want to feel wanted and missed *shrug* Anyway, if you ever need an ego boost just ask...pretty much anyone you know and they'll be able to help you out. ;)

Serfy said...

becky you're so weird! in a good way. haha I just find it really funny that you commented on a 2-year-old post of mine.

To answer your 1st question-- yes, it is very weird to get a comment on an ancient post.

To answer your 2nd question-- yes, you're weird, but what you said isn't weird. In fact, I appreciate it very much! :D

To answer your 3rd [bunch of] question(s)-- I'm very much a "past" person. that is to say, I think about the past a lot, not that it's a good thing. So I consider myself to be always growing and maturing, and "out-dated creations" are a part of that process. It's the same me who made them, just younger and less experienced. Sometimes, I find stuff that I can't believe I ever came up with, but after pondering awhile, I usually realize how it's shaped my thinking.

"blogger on steroids"...I like that phrase.

I'm 100% with you on the pros and cons of being Facebook-less. Stay strong in your resolve!

Kaitlyn said...

I like the analysis, Becka! You make good points. You capture our desire to know, to feel loved, when you express the realization that (some) people have their own lives and can get a long without you. Not to completely condone facebook, but your decision is full of wisdom.

Also, as was already said, it's nice to have an account to hack into. As well as the fact that so many people would love to encourage you.