October 1, 2009


It seems that I'm finally preparing the speech for which I've been preparing all along.

I'm sure you know the verses you hear all the time in defense of speech and debate. The point of persuasive speaking is so we can defend our faith and speak the truth. So we can bear witness to others of what God has shown us and done for us.

I feel as if this is the speech of all speeches. But what makes it so hard is that it's not even a speech! I've been instructed to practice speaking my testimony so I can deliver it in an informal conversation. And while I have logical and persuasive skills, it is so hard to apply it to this! I don't want to present what I believe as simply a logical argument, trying to refute objections to following Christ.

So what I presented in Chapter today focused on life in the Spirit, and how dwelling in God gives me joy. All these words! Joy, love, peace, life, home, dwell, Spirit, breathe. I can't seem to focus on one. Because what I've been asked to tell in two minutes, in a conversation, without pretense, is my life, my whole existence. How am I supposed to have a thesis when I am just there pouring out what is on my heart?

I feel as if I've become too "feelerish" in my approach. But just talking about Truth, and how Christianity is reasonable, seems hollow. I want people to care! Yet it's stupid to impact my argument for faith, and show why it matters to me, if the link and brink are non-existent.

And I don't even know who I'm going to give this "speech" to. So how can I prepare a full defense of faith? Even if I knew exactly who I'd talk to, I can't say everything. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I guess I have sub-consciously given up making this organized already, so I may as well add that Kaitlyn just chatted me in response to my status message. She tells me,
"words fall short. brains can't comprehend. emotions don't grasp the stakes. thoughts don't provide closure. Yet, He is there."
I need to think about what I'm going to say some more. But oh... I don't want to think that I'm selling God to consumers. I'm talking about a person. A friend, a Father, a lover even. And He tells me, and I believe Him, that He will teach me what to say.


Hayley said...

"Speak from you heart" sounds erroneous. "Speak from the Spirit" seems more accurate. That's all we can do, right, is say the words He gives us? We can't say everything, it's fortunate that it's not about what we say but how He uses what we say. I know you know, so long as you speak the truth you'll be saying what you're supposed to say. :)

Echoes in Ink said...

This is where speaking crosses into communication. Speaking is about words, about poise, and eye contact, and projection. Communication is about love and showing that love in some bright way to others - perhaps in words.

Sounds like you're truly being a cultural communicator here, my dear :)

I know you will do well. I know your heart desires God's heart, and you simply cannot go wrong there.

Love always,