January 9, 2010

losing control

Some say that you don't need to appreciate the artist to appreciate the art. Maybe that is true. However, I would prefer to talk about myself not just my art. I don't mean to spoil it for you.

I think a lot about the creative process. That feels like an understatement.

I may have finished my entry for the art contest. But I'm not sure. See, I checked the rules again today and realized I have all of tomorrow to finish it. So I may start over, I don't know.

Well, this is what I have.

I think I want to call it, "...Was blind, but now I see." Here's where you see that I'm losing control, as the title of this blog post says. An artist should be in control of his or her art, and the piece should stand by itself. I think art should be distanced from the creator of the art. Art is expression, and if it doesn't express by itself it fails to do its job. When I can't decide on a title I guess I make what I make more my own, and more uncertain. I'm not sure of the impact of that.

Strangely, though, much of this piece of art *is* intentional. I've thought of many ways to interpret it, and there's one that I specifically meant. But maybe it's also intentionally ambiguous? I don't know. The main problem with it is that it doesn't capture the entirety of the theme, Awakening: Rise Up. Reach Out. I'm fully aware that it lacks the part about reaching out: this is, I think, because I myself do not understand how to reach out fully. That last sentence is based on my theory that you have to understand to express.

So I may go back to the original idea. I was drawn to this one first because I had an emotional connection to it, it was based off of the sketch I posted yesterday, one meant not for beauty but for expression, not for communication with an audience but simply the need to communicate.

Another thought. That is that I am very tired: even if I bothered to read this post again I would not detect the multitude of flaws in the way it flows, or whatever else may be confusing and not-quite-present about the post.

Final thought. "And indeed there will be time." This quote really encourages me when I take it out of the context of The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. It reminds me that everything, everything is how it should be for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. It's not how it should be on some level, I suppose, but I feel like no circumstance makes right impossible. I simply hope I do not sabotage myself, or act foolishly as I try to work. What I mean is, perhaps this blog post was a waste of precious time. Perhaps I needed to speak. "And indeed there will be time" is a good quote to think about when you're working, not when you're taking a break.

I know I said I was done, but that reminded me of something else. Maybe there will be time, but will there be energy? Will my voice be present to speak in friendliness where friendliness is required, and with eloquence where eloquence is required? I do not know. Romans 8:28 is more encouraging than T. S. Eliot today.


Hayley said...

If it matters, I like this. A lot.

"Romans 8:28 is more encouraging than T. S. Eliot today." :P

Elizabeth said...

"He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." ~ Isaiah 40: 29-31

Just wait on God, Rebecca. He will give you the strength that you need.

If He's begun a good work in you, He will complete it.

I love you.

Echoes in Ink said...

TS Eliot : )

I like the art a lot. I love ambiguity, especially intentional ambiguity.

"This day is sacred to the Lord. The joy of the Lord is your strength."

I can't wait to see you in a few short days.