November 17, 2012

What hath God wrought

This past Thursday and and Friday were two of the best days of my life.

They followed a very upsetting first part of my week - registration issues, starting to feel sick, hours spent waiting in New York - what seemed to give no respite.

Sunday, while singing with my choir at St. George's near Gramercy Park, the Scripture reading was from Psalm 127.
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain. 
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
I felt the vanity then, but still, I reasoned that I had wanted to do, and enjoyed, the things that made me rise up earlyl and go late to rest. But there were quizzes, assignments, a paper and test to complete within the next few days, Monday and Tuesday. I caught up with my choir director as she was leaving the service, and she prayed for me. "You might think that it'll take you so long to finish something, but God can just get it done!" She told me how she'd been an ambitious student, and that she understood.

I had a sort of break-down when I returned home that day, but my parents gave me perspective. Then I survived Monday and even had time on Tuesday for a very intriguing conversation about the six days of creation before my science test. Then I stayed up till midnight to register for the Spring, only to have the system to prevent me from registering (All the records of students who'd been advised before Sandy had been erased). And the rest of Wednesday I worked on homework, mostly.

On Thursday morning I left my cell-phone at home, but didn't realize until my train was pulling into the station. I was angry. I felt like so many things were unjustly assailing me, and let my frustration show. This fall, I grow in respect of my dad for his patience with the inconveniences of commuting. I don't enjoy the constraint on my freedom that all the multiple links of my commute require.

At school, I was able to talk to the registrar's office and sign up for my classes. I was encouraged to see my classmates and the girls in my House (the House system is like Harry Potter, apparently, if that clarifies). Later in the day, I read this commencement address. One paragraph in particular ministered to me:
It is in not seeking the Inner Rings that we will end up in a Ring of true significance. Our primary objective must be faithfulness in the little things, for our everyday actions are what influence society around us. The Apostle Paul prayed that we would “walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work.” A Christian life of influence is a life of steady obedience. And it is here where our secondary objective, positions of influence, will come to fruition.
Faithfulness. Obedience. It really helped to hear these words from a student who evidently cares, like I do, about achieving. Her example about Corrie Ten Boom reinforced the idea that I do not have to directly seek influence. I suppose that I look at people who seem to have lived meaningful, God-honoring lives, and attribute part of their success to their fame, but Corrie didn't live to become famous.

To draw near to God, we must earnestly seek him; yet I can be content even while seeking. This is the biggest concept I've been struggling to understand.

On Friday, I spent a portion of the day reading about the anthropic principle, and the argument from the fine-tuned universe for intelligent design. Some people may look at the incredibly small odds that our universe could even be livable, and search for a law of physics that would compel the world to unfold this way. Or, like Samuel Morse, quoting Numbers 23 in the first telegram, we can marvel, "What hath God wrought!"

Near the end of the day, I finally realized, I am so happy to be going to school at King's. God is providing for my needs. He is answering my questions. Thank you, Father.


Hayley Hutchins said...

"To draw near to God, we must earnestly seek him; yet I can be content even while seeking. This is the biggest concept I've been struggling to understand." Ah, yes, this! This is where I am! So bumbling in my obedience, so laden with guilt, and still He meets me at where I /am/ instead of waiting for me at where I /ought/ to be. His faithfulness is equipping me to be faithful. I am just not enough to be what I should be, but I answer to Him and not my ambitions.

Ah, what God hath wrought!

Art said...

"I answer to Him and not my ambitions." Yes. Exactly, Hayley.

Col said...

I'm so happy to hear that you got these thoughts figured out. :)

<3 Col